Today I have gynecologist appointment, I had thought after having a partial hysterectomy that I’d be done visiting with a gynecologist or should I say ‘a date with a duck’ oh come on now that’s is just silly and funny. Makes me laugh every time I think of the first time I saw the cold metal beak when I first visited a gynecologist. I was so terrified, young and just learned I was pregnant at the age of 16. Saw the doctor flexing the metal contraction. Didn’t know that he plan to insert that weird looking thing inside my most intimate spot. The k-y jelly cold on the metal duckbill, his large hand pressing hard on my lower tummy as he scraped the inner lining of my vagina. Scary for a 16 year. A speculum is a duck-bill-shaped device that doctors use to see inside a hollow part of your body and diagnose or treat disease. One common use of the speculum is for vaginal exams. Gynecologists use it to open the walls of the vagina and examine the vagina and cervix

You have the silence in your hands
And such a silence encloses me perfectly
As I dissolve myself in desire and pleasure…
Beyond any possible measure, my lust
Is still what feed your constant reverie,
It is your most appreciated enigma and mystery.

Open my petals one by one, climb
My walls as no one ever could or would…
Render me the infinity and everything
Else…
I can hear the voice of your soul and light and
Something in me is pure delight…
With the moon in my eyes, I feel your touch…
I am water…I am fire…I am day and night
As the hours go by and we breathe each
Other’s eternity…my skin against your body,
My mouth making you die and fly across
The room…slow journey to self-knowledge
And wanting…

Such a vision burns my eyes…
You lose yourself within me
And nobody can ever find what can only
Feel alive when sinks in my sea.

Your hands have the silence of all roses
When they are breathing…
Your hands are still what keep my heart beating